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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:15:18 GMT -5
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:19:22 GMT -5
In America, the people are free to go to Washington and tell everyone that the president of the USA is a blundering idiot. In Russia, the people are free to go to Red Square in Moscow and tell everyone that the president of the USA is a blundering idiot. Russia is just like America!
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:21:32 GMT -5
* In Soviet Russia, radio listens to YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, anti-lock brakes YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, cold catches YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, bong hits YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, minority persecutes YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, with that; fries wants YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, freedom of speech has YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, remote controls YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, bucket kicks YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, TV watches YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, cruft clears YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, program executes YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, mail gets YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, Internet surfs on YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, steak grills YOU!!! * In Soviet Russia, time kills YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, unfunny article VFDs YOU!! * In Soviet Georgia, Yoghurt Eats YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, depression gets YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, joke overuses YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, n00b h4x0rs j00!! * In Soviet Russia, CD burns YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, scissor cuts YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, movie pirates YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, bar walks into YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, Wikipedia vandalizes YOU!! * В Советской России, русский язык переводит на ВАС!! o ROUGH TRANSLATION - In the Soviet Russia, Russian translates on YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, cork screws YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, monkey spanks YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, load shoots YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, whale watches YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, train spots YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, post-it sticks YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, ground walks on YOU!! * In Soviet Russia, ride pimps YOU!!
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:23:39 GMT -5
arrator: In A.D. 2101, war begins YOU!! Mechanic: In Soviet Russia, bomb upsets YOU!! Operator: In Soviet Russia, signal gets YOU!! Captain: In Soviet Russia, "What !" says YOU!! Operator: In Soviet Russia, main screen turns on YOU!! Captain: In Soviet Russia, it's YOU!! CATS: In Soviet Russia, gentlemen, how are YOU!! CATS: In Soviet Russia, Us are belong to all your BASE!! (spoken in the Flash animation as "In Soviet Russia, All our base are belong to YOU!!") CATS: In Soviet Russia, no chance to survive has YOU!! CATS: In Soviet Russia, your time makes YOU!! Operator: In Soviet Russia, "Captain !!" says YOU!! Captain: In Soviet Russia, every 'zig' takes off YOU!! Captain: In Soviet Russia, what you doing knows YOU!! Captain: In Soviet Russia, 'zig' moves YOU!! Captain: In Soviet Russia, great justice for YOU!!
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:23:59 GMT -5
My mojo is returning ^^ this is funny
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:24:29 GMT -5
at some point in this thread, im gonna post a picture of me... hold yer breaths folks
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:26:43 GMT -5
In Soviet Russia, Google searches YOU!!
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:27:39 GMT -5
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:29:20 GMT -5
Tommy helped his uncle, Jack, off a horse. Now, with proper grammar: Tommy helped his uncle jack off a horse.
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:33:38 GMT -5
Official count of all the pitied fools today: 8,624,317,492
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:35:54 GMT -5
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:41:53 GMT -5
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:44:59 GMT -5
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Post by Dellux pao-hui on Jul 12, 2006 17:45:39 GMT -5
How spamalishious... an entire thread for me
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Post by FinalLegacy on Jul 12, 2006 17:47:10 GMT -5
Foreign Signs People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the world. Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY. Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR. Sign in men's rest room in Japan: TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP. In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO. One of the Mathare buildings: MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE. A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS. In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES. Sign in Japanese public bath: FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB. Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN. Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM. Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE. Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE. Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK. Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY. Hotel catering to skiers, Austria: NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION. Taken from a menu, Poland: SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION. Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE. From the "Soviet Weekly": THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS. In an East African newspaper: A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS. Hotel, Vienna: IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE. Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE. An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS. A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES. The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE. In a Swiss mountain inn: SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM. Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
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